Artist statement for curated exhibition co-produced with Necessary Angel Theatre's 4.48 Psychosis, in 2013.
Depression is an illness like an infestation of worms in your guts. It can feast on your innards yet leave your countenance unmarked by the rot.
It’s only in advanced emotional decrepitude that the holes are revealed: when there is no longer any point in getting up in the morning, speaking to friends, or entertaining any hope about anything. It is, for the most part, a passive disease; it leaves you wanting nothing. And when you want nothing, where might that be found?
For some, there is a point where “I” doesn’t exist anymore; the “I” has been entirely eaten away, and without an “I” it isn’t possible to live. Then, ending the remaining body is simply a formality, like sweeping ashes from the hearth in the cold after a fire. It is unmaking. It is making nothing.
In much of my work, I go hunting for the worm, and when I find it, it’s almost always in surprising places and unexpected forms. It’s important to me to lay it open in a detached and unflinching presentation: “Here is where it has been. This is what it has left behind.”
My work, It is a knell that beckons thee (to heaven), is a depiction of one of my own unmakings. The illustration is unfinished as the dying was unfinished. Other pieces in this submission are equally candid if less literal, speaking despair and singing self-destruction.